dream a little dream...

Talking about Dreams...

Do you dream alot? I mean both day-dreaming and real dreams as in those that you have when sleeping. okok, i see you rolling your eyes at me. ok yah so you know...

Well I dream alot everyday. I day-dream about anything and everything, everyday. And I have weird dreams just about every night too. I assume the reason for so maybe because I'm just someone who tends to think too much, imagine too much, worry too much. That probably explains it.

I love day-dreaming. Because it doesn't cost a thing? Because in my own world of imagination, anything can be possible. I can be a rich man's daughter. I can be a cool dude's sister. I can have a super charming boyfriend who treats me like a princess. I can own my dream dog- a golden retriever called Bobby. I can be a top-notch director who wins awards at all sorts of film fests.

I can be anything that I want to be.

Day-dreaming is simply a mechanism which I use to make myself feel better all the time. Because I guess I just feel that I'm a loser in reality, with no skills or talents to boast of, with no one whom I can really confide in, no one whom I can really devote my love and affection to. Day-dreaming relieves me of my stress and unhappiness. It allows me to be in control, it allows me to design the way I want to lead my life. I am the master of my fate in my own imagination world. Sometimes I wish my own imaginations can really come true one day, but it's often not possible. It gets too depressing often as well, when you realize how much of a difference you are from your imaginations, then you start to keep thinking that you're a loser, and this feeling doesn't get better at all. It drags you down to the pits, makes you feel rotten over and over again. Day-dreaming is a double-edged sword.

Maybe I should talk about what got me started on this whole rattle about day-dreaming. Cause i just watched this local film in class today. * Singapore *Dreaming. Nice show. Truly. Although the issues conveyed in the film are typical Singaporean issues, that've been touched upon too often in *Jack *Neo's movies, but this film is different, it tells the story of Singapore in a really realistic yet depressing manner. A truly refreshing film apart from the usual local films that we've seen in recent years. At least this is the second movie that can ever set me on a rather melancholic and very thinking mood. I love films which made me think alot, about the issues conveyed in the film or just about life in general. There was this scene where one of the male characters was talking to this mainlander bargirl, where they share about their viewpoints on life. The male character is a Singaporean who complains that he couldn't fulfill his dream as a rock band member, and had to succumb to the miseries of life by doing the things that he doesn't like to do in order to make a livelihood, but yet it's not as if he's really good at music or what. He practically just "dreams" to be a musician, that's all. No further efforts, nothing, just letting the miseries of life bury him alive, while he continues to dream. While the mainlander girl is one who does the things that she doesn't like to do in order to achieve the dream that she wishes for, and that is to be a fashion designer.

This is the scene which left the deepest impression on me. I thought how apt a portrayal of who I am really. I'm just like the male character. Wishing to be someone that I will be proud to be, but yet do I even put in the efforts to achieve my dreams? Do I even know where I want to be, and what i want to be? I'm only capable of dreaming, complaining, dreaming, complaining. Choosing to do things with the easiest way that I can find. Then sit down and cry when things don't really go my way. Complain and only complain when people don't do things the way that I want them to. But this is not what my life should be. This is not what LIFE should really be about. No one will ever be bothered with spoilt brats who don't give a damn to helping themselves. No one will take pity on those who chooses to burrow in their own miseries, licking their own wounds. Because this world already has enough losers to last a few centuries.

God only helps those who help themselves. A warrior is someone who dares to dream and dares to maker her dreams come true. A coward is one who only knows how to burrow in pain and screw-ups, and period. She does nothing else done to remedy her plight. I want to be a warrior. I want to be someone that I am proud to be. So maybe I should really give myself a hand now.

WAKE UP YZ. FIND YOUR OWN DIRECTION. GET BETTER AT WHAT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE DOING.