cool

oooh. so suave. totally dig him.

that chiselled features, that not-very-shaven look is oh so hot.

*adam levine from maroon 5 totally rocks! woohooooo~

咪咪

咪咪一出生就没爸爸。
妈妈说那是一段悲惨的回忆，因为连她都不知道咪咪的爸爸是谁。

但是咪咪也不以为意，没爸爸就没爸爸。有妈妈在，妈妈就能喂饱她。

咪咪有两个姐姐，和两个哥哥。但是姐姐哥哥却老是喜欢和她抢玩具玩，所以咪咪不喜欢姐姐哥哥，她只爱妈妈。所以在这几个孩子当中，咪咪是最黏妈妈的。在咪咪的幼小心灵里，妈妈的怀抱是最温暖的。只要有妈妈在，天塌下来，它也不怕。

但是日子久了，咪咪也随着日子一天一天长大。妈妈现在也有自己的人生，妈妈也要有自己的娱乐，无瑕再时时陪伴在咪咪的身边。咪咪感到的是寂寞。

长大后的咪咪也开始了解到没爸爸的孩子其实并不是那么的快乐。当它看到别的孩子和爸爸快乐的玩闹时，它便会开始想象爸爸长得会是什么样子。有爸爸的话，它会不会比现在快乐一点呢。

所以现在的咪咪喜欢依偎在任何一个能了解它的寂寞的同类，喜欢同类能给予它的温暖。在这些同类的怀里，它仿佛回到了童年时期，回到了妈妈的怀里。

现在的咪咪大概也只能信任这些同类吧。

My new lover.

weehoowee!

*throws confetti*

*prances around*

*screams in joy*

It's a new phone!!! HAHA. After 2 long years spent with dear 7260, I'm finally putting this part of my life aside, and starting on another phase of my life with sleek and sexy 6300.

She's perfectly gorgeous. It wasn't that much of a love at first sight, but alas, the more I look at her, the more I think she's such a babelicious dudette. Underneath that cold exterior, lies a warm heart that wants to share so many secrets and nothings with me. Although you don't come with a usb data cable, which means bloody hell I've got to buy my own, I guess your sexiness and your gleaming blue tooth will more than cover up for all that.

p.s: damn, didn't even give me that free handphone strap. argh. sick.

But who can ever forget dear 7260, who has been with me through thick and thin. Sustaining my angry slammings, my nonsense with that many other women, yes, you've been a trusty one, I know. *hits heart with fist and nods head* No way am I going to just sell you away for that mere 50 bucks, the love and friendship cultivated between us is worth more than that. And you know what, I'm going to pack you away to Hong Kong with me, since you said you love that place, when we went there 2 years ago, don't you?

Cheers to both of you ladies. Kiss.

Mind wandering...

You know when you have too much time at hand, you’ll start to let your mind do some wandering on its own, and you start to think that you are actually thinking a tad too much.

I woke up this morning (or to be more exact this afternoon), yes I practically sleep past 12 noon EVERY day. HAHA. Sucks actually, cause you really feel like a pig when it’s the consecutive 3rd week that you’re able to sleep in everyday. But time is running out, as I count down to D-Day. How I look forward to work. Truly.

My dear b**ch just replied to my mail, and said she’s proud of me being able to find a job in such a short period of time. Well…my thoughts on this are split. On one hand, I’m glad I could get settled down pretty much fast. On the other hand, I was thinking am I being too sloppy in my job search? There wasn’t like too much trouble with preparing the resume and cover letters. There was not much of sweat shed over this whole job seeking process. Perhaps it was because the pain and terror was divided neatly into phases during the course of this last academic semester. I remembered sending out the resume and stuff somewhere during Chinese New Year. The company took like ages to reply to me. “Only shortlisted candidates will be notified”, I remembered that clause in that online application vividly. So when they did not “notify” me of anything at all after almost 1.5 months, I started to panic. Because I was pretty much confident that I could at least secure that teeny weeny chance of having an interview. So I started “whining” to all my friends that “HOW?! NO CHANCE ALREADY! BOO…” Fortunately, that phone call finally came. And thereafter everything just fell in place, a placement test, an interview, a health check. The wait after each process was arduous and painful. But I’m glad it’s over. Truly.

Although I’m still paranoid about my health checks and stuff, but it seems that I’m on my way to work now. It seems so surreal. So so surreal. Especially when this was what I’ve been wanting to do since secondary school days. It was during that secondary school days when I really love watching the current affairs programs on tv, and I was always touched by the stories, thinking about how little do I understand about this country that I live in. And I thought “I wish I have the chance to do this one day”. Now it almost seems like I’m going to fulfill this aspiration. I’m excited. Perhaps things wouldn’t be a rosy picture when I get in, perhaps it would be a shit hole like what others in the line has said. But still I reckon it’s a platform after all, for my dreams to be fulfilled. Do my best, do my best.

As you can see, the mind’s been occupied with all things about the new job. But there was another thing on my mind too. Haha. Just yesterday, I was at the train station waiting for dearest roomie for our movie date. And since yesterday was Friday, the station was crowded, packed with many many people. Then a random thought just struck me, and I started taking out my handphone and typed “When will I see you again? When will I ever get the chance to even know you?”

It was meant for whoever. Some stranger that I would like to meet one day.
It was just so silly.

18 June

The date's drawing nearer.

I'm getting kinda restless these days.

Imagine the first day....

When I have to be introduced to new colleagues and friends.

When I have to get into that whole new cycle of making new friends, making good impressions.

I'm really looking forward to it, because I would really like to get down to work soon.

But yet, I'm just afraid of the new world that beckons.

Pray that everything will turn out well.

life kinda sucks

You wake up and you start to wait for the sun to set.

Time crawls.

There's nothing much to do around the house, but there are people who are irritating you ever so often. Stupid people who presses on your door bell. Stupid people who call and say silly things, like asking me for taxi fare??

Just yesterday.....

Weird ass caller: Hello? U owe me taxi fare ar!!

Me: Huh? But I never take taxi...

I think I was a little too traumatised by this guy that I started to speak in very broken english too! GASP.

WAC: U take taxi from bedok south to tampines st 81 ar. 3.48, then u only pay me 2 dollar ar.

Me: Huh?

WAC: U ask me to call u and take the money ar..

Me: (at this time, i was really completely puzzled?????) Erm. what number did u call?

WAC: 9xxxxxxx

Me: I think someone has given u the wrong number. How does the person look like? (okay, afterwhich i reckon this is quite a dumb question to ask...)

WAC: U go to tampines st 81, from bedok south ar...

Me: (wat the bloody hell, stop repeating yourself can.) Oh, i think someone is cheating you....

WAC: wah...nvm nvm. cheat me money ar. wah cheat me money nvm ar....

At this point, I start to think this might really be some nut case from the asylum. So I hung up.

What can I say man. People are getting crazier these days. This is the first time in my entire life time to receive a call like that. Demanding taxi fare?! wow. this is serious crap man. totally.

And I kinda reckon that this stupid phone call has pretty much irritated the shit out of me. I was so irritable thereafter, that every single thing just simply erm...annoys me.

On the train....

Man sat beside me, started fiddling with some stuff. Then he let out an irritated "shit".

I remained nonchalant.

Then, he turned to me and asked, "Excuse me, miss?...."

At this point, I was all ready to punch him if he EVEN dared to ever say stupid things.

man: "may i know what is the time now?"

Me: (said in the loudest voice ever) 1.07pm!!!

man: "oh okay, thanks!"

Then he returned to punching on his handphone. And I was simply like what the hell. U have a handphone and you're asking me the time?? Oh so maybe that wasn't a handphone? So it was a paper weight or something?? Better to slam you with RIGHT. I started to have this urge to like snatch the handphone from him, and point to the time on the phone, "NAH! THE TIME! THE TIME! BLIND AR U?!"

Stupid people who get on my nerves. erm. so maybe i was really too irritable.

Today....

Some unknown number appeared on my handphone caller id.

Me: Hello.

M: Hello. I forgot to bring my handphone....

Me: Then how?

M: Just tell uncle tat i never bring hp, don't give him this number...

Me: why leh?

M: just don't give him this number, in case they call him...

Me: ok....

M: (started to continue blabbering the same rubbish over and over again)

Me: (VERY VERY irritated by now) hannah hannah! (hangs up)

argh, totally irritable me. sucks.

我的无所事事

这几个星期的日子还真过得好清闲啊。
除了看看电视，听听歌，发发呆，做做家务，打打电动，就没什么了。
还真是糜烂的几个星期呀。

是和朋友们出去了，但是怎么人还是觉得好无聊。。。
觉得自己好没用，无所事事。
朋友都认为我好自甘堕落，成天嚷着日子无聊，日子难熬，却不好好找点有意义的事做。哈哈，但是本姑娘就是这么无聊，这么堕落。

我就是这个死样子。

但是想了想，其实现在做做闲人也不错。等到自己要踏入社会大学之后，恐怕想做闲人都没机会了吧。

嗨。。。真是一个矛盾的人啊，我。

翻了翻以前的功课，却看到了两年前的这个作品。。。那段时光真是令人缅怀。。。


王子寻饱记


很久很久以前，有个长得高大威猛的法国王子名叫，阿拉克西米拉克拉李查。。。erm…对不起，我想他的名字也太长了，简单来讲，他就叫做王子。

王子在皇宫里的日子过得十分写意，可以说是饭来张口，钱来伸手。有一天，他突然觉得自己的生活实在太单调了，从来不知道饥饿是什么滋味的他决定到宫外寻饱去。

王子：真是的。在这里的生活实在太单调了。*叮* 有了。我决定自立更生，自己到外去闯一闯。

佣人：王子，午饭已经准备好了，请慢用。

王子：(不好意思)ERM。。。还是等明天吧，明天再自己寻饱去。

王子便兴致勃勃地准备行装。第二天一早，王子便偷偷地溜了出去。

王子：好险。终于溜了出来。奇怪，怎么这么快又饿了呢？还好。。。
*逗趣音乐* 我带了好些零食出来。。。HEH HEH…

于是，王子便从背包里拿了一包又一包的薯片，边走边吃。*吃东西的音乐效果*

正当王子吃得正起劲，突然一只看起来十分凶猛的狮子出现在他面前。

王子：(呆着) 救命啊。。。请你不要吃掉我。我。。我给你所有的零食。。。*找东西的声音*

只可惜，王子已经把零食全吃光了。

狮子：(吼了一下) 咳咳。。。(叹了一口气) 真是的，我的喉咙已经痛了好几天了。哎呀，真对不起，吓到你了。。。

狮子于是走向前。。。王子也随之往后退。。。

狮子：你别怕。我叫 GARY GAY。嗨。。我是个没有用的狮子。我。。需要寻胆去。

王子：OUI。。。*叮*OUI-法文，是的意思。你好，我叫阿拉克西米拉克拉李查。。。你叫我王子就行了。我正要寻饱去。

狮子：(非常喜悦) 太好了，那我们结伴同行吧。Oh by the way, 你的手表很好看。原来是名牌啊。。。

王子：哈哈。。。你喜欢，就送给你吧。

狮子：真的吗。谢谢！

于是，王子在寻饱的过程中就多了一个伴。就这样，他们走了很远很远，忽然天下起雨来。

*打雷，下雨的声音*

王子和狮子急忙躲雨去。突然眼前出现了亮闪闪的东西。

原来是一个铁人。

铁人：arigato…kozaimusta…你们好。我叫小头罐子neh…我是从日本来的，想来这里学法文。

狮子：OH…你要来学法文。他是个法国王子。

王子：comment sa va…

铁人：haik…watashi小头罐子。。。

*叮*您现在收听的是华语电台，请无须转台。

铁人：原来你们要去寻饱和寻胆，kawaii neh…我也要去。(兴奋得鼓起掌来)

就这样，王子的寻饱过程中又多了一个伴了。一路上，大家一边聊天，一边走着。

*背景音乐-轻快的音乐 (还珠格格的天气歌)*

不知不觉，他们走到了天黑。*天黑的声音*

狮子：oh no…天黑了。我们现在到底在哪里？
铁人：haik…我也不知道。王子，你知道吗？

王子：NON。。。我也不知道。我只知道自己的肚子很饿。
*肚子咕噜叫的声音*

这时，他们眼前出现了一个丑陋的老太太。


老太太：(奸笑) 你们好。。。heh heh…

王子，狮子和铁人：不会吧，难道真的碰到巫婆了！

*背景音乐-(赵传-我很丑)*

老太太：(一脸不悦) 虽然我长得丑，但不代表我就是坏人。Hmmpphh…

王子：对不起，我们不是故意的。只是童话故事里的老太太都是巫婆。。。你好，我是法国王子，他是GARY GAY，他是小头罐子。

老太太：你，你是王子？还真不象。。。。

*背景音乐-(光良-童话)*

老太太：算了，看你们这么可怜，就让你们在我家休息一下吧。

就这样，他们三个就在老太太的屋里休息了一下。但是他们还是觉得很饥饿，因为老太太的家里什么都没有，就只有水。

很快的，天也亮了。。。

*早上的声音*

他们三人继续往前走。王子也已经一天没吃东西了。饥饿的他还是勉强忍受着。

*背景音乐-(周杰伦-蜗牛)*

这时，他们终于看到了曙光。。。

王子：eh….这个地方怎么看起来这么熟悉？
原来。。。是我的皇宫。。。。

狮子：what? 你说什么？

原来王子就这样在自己皇宫周围的树林里兜了一个晚上。我说王子你也对自己的周围太不留意了吧。还说寻饱呢，白白在外饿了一晚呢！

*结尾音乐*

A weird dream.

I was just telling Kai that I had the weirdest dream ever last night!

I dreamt of this Indian woman named Pavanna. She was dressed in a white and light blue sari, and she was escaping from some demons who just killed her father! She was running down the stairs and subsequently ran and saw this church and one of my friend, *Eunice. Kinda weird, isn’t it? I just simply cannot comprehend my dreams at all. They are just so weird and dramatic, if you would put it this way.

Maybe I just watch too much dramas, maybe I just think way too much… Weird.

gloating me!

wahahaha! so happy! i was quoted!! by dearest zhu tou pi!!! :P haha, so happy that zhu tou pi enjoys what i've blogged! yes, zhu tou pi, i'm so gonna gloat about this! woohoo! so much commendation for my work! *pats my own shoulders* yah, i need positive vibes so badly now la! JIA YOU OKIE! zhu tou pi! :)

An enlightened soul

Just finished with this highly enlightening read, * The Alchemist by *Paulo Coelho. It was a delightful read, coupled with many moments of realization. Splendid indeed! All thanks to Kai’s recommendation. :)

As I was reading the book, there were so many times that I just remarked, “How true is this!” and “I’m dying to blog about this!” So here are the stuff that left such a deep impression on this rather adolescent brain of mine.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own”

How true! Every single person on this world is guilty of that common mistake- being too judgmental or simply jumping to conclusions too quickly, before even seeing the whole picture. I am too guilty of this sin too many times. I see and I judge how people should lead their lives, what others should or should not do. But yet, I’m kind of clueless on how I should lead my life sometimes, clueless of the rights and wrongs that I’ve committed in my own life.

“….I’m afraid if my dream is realized, I’ll have no reason to go on living…”

How true! Dreams might be what that will keep us going, perhaps all the time. This sentence strikes a cord with me, simply right on target about how I was feeling just a few days ago. Some dreams are meant to be kept intact, sans the realization, if not the magic of them would be long gone. And the film that I’ve seen this afternoon, *Eric Khoo’s *Be with Me, further strengthens this “belief”. The character in this film, Fatty who seemed to be slightly retarded was in love with this woman, Ann. He dreamt about her, watched her every move everyday… (Actually it seems freaky more than anything, 'cause he simply stalks her EVERYWHERE. But I do believe he’s truly in love with her somehow.) Fatty never had the courage to confess his love for Ann, until one day he decided to give her a letter that proclaims his love, alas he never got the chance to do so, due to a tragic incident that left him dead. Well, I’ll reckon if he never had decided to proclaim his love, he might not have died. Coward as I am, I guess some dreams are still better left untouched, just like my fascination with XXX. Heh…

“When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it”

How true! Erm…actually this is a highly positive quote that will definitely lift my day up. As you would have known, since I am such a panicky and paranoid and depressive kiddie, how I would wish is for days to pass by as smoothly as possible, without any glitches at all if that was ever possible. Just today, something splendid happened… I was actually contemplating whether I should make a trip downstairs to buy some flowers for my mum for mother’s day. I didn’t really know what I should get for her, since she would have gotten whatever she needs by herself, haha, and what’s more she said that there’s no need for presents at all. But well, I still reckon it’ll be nice if I get at least a flower or what for her. So eventually, I got my butt off the couch and sped downstairs to get a stalk of carnation. And the most miraculous thing happened! It started to break into a rainstorm after I came home! The sky was waiting for me to get back home, before it started to rain!!! Well, okay, I can see you rolling your eyes and thinking “it’s just a coincidence la!” Hahaha…but hey I’ve decided to view this tiny incident as positively as possible!

“We make a lot of detours, but we’re always heading for the same destination…”

How true! Look at us all, be it going to JC or POLY, going to good JCs or not so good JCs, don’t we all land in university anyhow? Whatever we do, don't we all make a lot of detours before we finally get our feet right on track and head towards that ultimate destination?

edited: just like how kai is now happily reunited with her childhood sweetheart after all these time, after all the tussles with unnecessary people..hee :p

“If good things are coming, they will be a pleasant surprise. If bad things are, you will suffer greatly before they even occur…”

How true! Good things will always be pleasant, wahaha…DOH! But well I just like the way how positivities are put across in this book. :)

“If you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better.”

I will make this come true! Yz is a *worry wart (qy said this! Haha). She has to stop worrying about what will NOT happen and concentrate on making her present as pleasant as possible.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

This is simply sweet. If my prince charming says this to me, I will be swept right off my feet man!

“Listen to your heart…Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you’re thinking about life and about the world…”

How true! Perhaps the heart will always have the truest answer to whatever situation which we are placed in. And yes the heart is that enormous place that houses all your emotions and memories, they will never ever disappear in that large space of your heart, never. Although our loved ones maybe gone, he will always remain in your heart forever, never vanishing a second. Whenever we are sad or happy, we will always remember the way he has always been. Papa, you’re always there, as if never been gone.

edited: falling in love needs alot of impulses as well, doesn't it? the mind tells you to be sensible, yet the heart does otherwise.

Last but not least,

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too…”

How true! Things will be better, if we ourselves never give up hope. I hope that I will never lose hope and be daunted by the happenings around me. I want to live a happy life as best as I can.

The thing about me...

You know the thing about me is that I don't really like the thought of encountering new people. The whole thing about making new friends. The thought of unfamiliarity intrigues me. Most of the time.

Making new friends can be fun, I guess. But there's always that initial awkward if not highly uncomfortable phase that you'll have to go through. Then you'll start to wonder if this friend is really for keeps. As you wonder and contemplate how far this friendship will go, you might have realised that you might be acting a little too weird for the comfort of your "new found" friend that he/she has already drifted to neverland. You can't smile too much. In case those smiles seem too fake. You can't poke fun at anything, in case you happen to rub salt on his/her wound, raking up her sad past. So thus said, everything has to be balanced and kinda be of the correct proportion, before you strike a bingo, and find that best friend that you've always wanted more. In short, you can't really be the person you really are, there are loads of ice to break through. And this is tiring.

Well...what got me started on all these rattle was because I've just met up with my 2 old friends. Feli dude and dearest roomie. They are both my friends of over 6 years. It's always full of shit from these two girls. I was just thinking time spent with them can be so comfortable. I can simply be a monkey or a moron, then they'll roll their eyes and say "siao"! But i'm not the least offended. Roomie will always have to bear through how I will ALWAYS spill every sort of drink everywhere I go, be it milo peng, milk, water or well the latest addition, COFFEE! Whereas Feli dude will hear me spew vulgarities, that I bet any guy who doesn't know me well, will wonder if it's me that they've heard. How can such a somewhat "demure looking" gal utter such uncouth stuff. But well, that's just what old friends are for. You reveal your so called true colors, and be that little devil that you are to them. That's why swee will always say I'm such a "xiao mo tou"-little demon. Heh.

But then again, I am only comfortable, because me and my old girlies have past that initial awkward period. So that is really a chicken and egg question, and I guess people would say stuff like "no venture no gain" right? And some would also wonder what the shit is with this girl. So atas for what man. Think so much before making friends. Well that's just yz for you. She's just someone who's kinda like a paradox, she wants changes and varieties in life, but she hates getting out of her comfort zone. She's always wondering what's about this new friendship. She's all about that human epitome of inertia that you've learnt in physics.

Well, life is just so complicating sometimes. Enough about all these rattle. Peace out!

relax la...

yz seriously needs to relax.

yz seriously needs to worry and think less about the indefinite.

yz seriously needs and has to be healthy and all good for the medical check up.

yz seriously needs to believe in miracles and all things being able to run smoothly.

yz seriously needs a life.

茫然

外面的天空依然如此蔚蓝，

但是人的心情确是一片难过的黑白。

这几天的心情是落漠，是孤寂，是忧郁的。

在一切结束以后，到底要往哪儿走，要往哪儿前进？

仿佛所有的人生目标已经荡然无存了。

虽然已多少确定了自己即将到哪儿上班了，但是人还是觉得茫然的，不知道自己的决定是否正确，也对那不知名的所谓‘未来’ 感到疑惑。人是心烦的。在一些人眼里，这看来是庸人自扰的。但是这种心烦不安的感觉丝毫未减，反而是日益加深了。

我像是漂流在汪洋中的一块死木。毫无人生目标，只能随波逐流。原来在一切事物结束了之后，竟然会如此痛苦。

人生真是令人费解的。